The Anime Assimilaton
by Mononoke-hime x sukai kurora
Summary: Howard brings the anime Hetalia: Axis Powers to the apartment. He does not know that the anime will have drastic consequences for his best friend Raj.
1. Hetalia: Axis Powers

_ Hetalia: Axis Powers_

"Howard, you _know _better than to make us watch a movie when we always eat dinner is silence!" Sheldon was furious; not only did Howard come late to the designated time, he also brought a movie that he had never seen before. _And he did not like this situation at all._

Howard was grinning. "Come on, Sheldon. It'll be fun. Something new will cheer you up from your asshole self." Sheldon was too busy processing that his dinnertime was interrupted to pay attention to what Howard had said. "And it's popular in Japan."

"What's it called?" Raj asked, curiously looking at the cover. There was a cute – and somewhat dumb-looking – boy on the cover, waving. Behind him looked like a disturbed older man with blonde hair and another man with black hair who was wearing a military suit of some kind. _That black haired dude looks depressed, _Raj thought.

"It's called _Hetalia: Axis Powers_." Howard actually looked excited. He looked at the other four people in the room. "What do you say?"

Penny yawned. "I'd rather not stay for a history lesson. I _do not _want to learn that crap again. Aren't the Axis Powers America and Russia, right?" She was met with blank stares.

"Penny, the Axis Powers were Italy, Germany, and Japan," Leonard stated quietly. "It's supposed to be funny too, right?" he asked Howard. Howard nodded.

"Besides," Amy added, "the episodes are only five minutes long."

"Well, I like the sound of that," Penny said. "A funny show with no educational material."

"Oh, alright," Sheldon groaned. "I'll go along with your half-sensible plan. Just one episode, mind you."

"Fine." Howard gritted his teeth. "Just _one _episode."

"It's okay, Howie," Bernadette soothed. "We can watch the show when we come home." Howard immediately brightened.

A couple minutes later the gang had a decision to make. To have the episode subbed or dubbed.

"I honestly prefer the dubbed version," Howard confessed. "The show is actually funnier because the characters have accents."

"Hey, hold on." Bernadette raised her hand. "Aren't the Axis Powers countries? So why do you call them characters?"

"Well, they're actually both." The five, expect Sheldon, looked at Howard with bewildered expressions. "The characters on the cover here," Howard had the DVD in his hand and pointed to the red-haired boy. "Is Italy. He's a personification of his country. And over here," he pointed to the other characters on the cover, "are Germany and Japan."

"I can't believe you know the word personification," Sheldon muttered. Bernadette and Howard gave him a hard look.

"I'm not good at languages, so I'll stick with English." Penny said.

"But I want to hear the original," Raj half-whined.

"Sorry," Howard smiled at Raj without any sympathy. "Majority rules."

Soon all of them – including Sheldon – were watching the first episode of _Hetalia: Axis Powers_. The problem was, none of them – except Howard – knew what anyone was saying.

"Okay, well I know what America's saying because he's so loud, but what are the other countries are saying?" Penny wondered out loud. She watched as Britain and France were fighting…with their fists.

"I want to know what Britain and France are fighting about too." Now Raj was really whining.

"Britain and France are actually rivals. They fought at least four wars against each other, one of which last over one hundred years." The gang looked with shock as Amy was done speaking. They no idea they had that kind of knowledge in her brain.

"I had no idea that you kept such useless information in your mind, Amy." Sheldon stated to his girlfriend.

"It's not useless," Amy told him. "Besides, I infer that this is a kind of show that you need to know a lot of history in order to understand it."

"I can't believe you guys can't understand it!" Howard said in shock. "What Russia stated was hilarious!" He started to laugh.

"Who's Russia?" Penny asked. There were at least two men – or countries? – were talking to each other. One looked afraid of the man who looked like he was laughing.

"The one who's picking on Lithuania," Howard said absent-mindedly. He was engrossed in the show.

Penny raised her eyebrow. "Lithuania is a country?"

"Yep."

"Wait, why is he picking on two other countries?" There was another character who seemed afraid of Russia, and another female character who seemed mad for some reason.

"It'll take too long to explain," Howard said with slight annoyance. "You're like the female version of America."

"America? How dare you! I'm not that stupid!" Penny yelled. "I just asked a question!"

"Well, we're all Americans," Leonard tried to calm Penny down but it had the opposite effect.

"Why are you defending him?" Penny yelled.

"I'm not defending him!" Leonard shouted back. "I'm just…trying to smooth things over!"

"Oh, boy," Howard whispered under his breath. "It's like another failed world conference in here, and Britain and France aren't helping."

"I've wasted a minute and twenty-six seconds of my life," Sheldon moaned as the obtuse show kept portraying its useless.

"I don't understand what the characters are saying," Raj whined. "I want to know!"

"Who do you think is cuter, Amy?" Bernadette whispered. "Russia's kind of cute, even though he's a bully."

Amy observed the characters for a moment. It seemed that Britain and France were literally fighting. "I have to watch more episodes to find out in order to make a choice."

The noise was getting too much for Howard. His so-called _friends _were ruining his favorite show. "Shut up!" he screamed, at the exact same time Germany did. Everyone quieted. _Awesome, I did at the same time as Germany!_

"I still don't understand what they're saying," Penny said in a bored tone.

"Neither do I," Leonard added.

Suddenly it appeared that their ears were working again, for they were all able to understand. Italy seemed to be reaching towards Germany. _"Pasta!"_

"Pasta?" Penny looked at Italy with a creped-out look on her face. "That does _not _make any sense."

"Italy's obsessed with pasta," Howard said tersely. "Now, if you all are quiet, maybe I could enjoy my show!"

"Howie, that's not fair. Can't we just watch it in sub?" Howard looked at his wife, his eyes softening at the desperation in her gaze.

And so the gang started to watch episode one – again – and they actually understood it.

"America's actually not as stupid in this one," Penny observed.

"I like England's voice," Raj whispered as England and America were practically bopping France on the head.

Amy started laughing at the scene with Russia and poor Lithuania. "I actually understand the jokes now."

Bernadette started laughing too. "England and France are just like an old couple!"

"America is seriously obsessed with hamburgers," Penny laughed. "Just like Italy is obsessed with pasta."

The entire gang – minus Sheldon – laughed when England stated that he would _"beat the crap out of you _(France) _for another 100 years!"_

"I still don't understand why Italy says pasta when Germany allowed him to speak," Penny said with a bubble of laughter.

"It's the only word he can really say," Howard said with a smile.

"I've wasted two minutes and five seconds of my life." All of us know who said that.

"Hush!" Amy whispered. All of the gang was silent when the scene changed to WWI. Germany was explaining about Ancient Rome and of how he had almost conquered the world, when he suddenly disappeared. He was supposed to fight with a descendant of Rome, but as he came closer to the clearing, he saw a box with weird writing on it. Germany seemed afraid to open it.

"Oh, a box," Penny said with sarcasm. "I'm so scared."

"You never know what could be inside of there!" Raj shouted. "There could be bomb of some kind!"

Penny was about to say another sarcastic comment when suddenly there was an adorable little girl wearing a sailor's suit flying…until she fell on the floor with other little children and a dog of some kind.

"What's _chibi_?" Penny asked.

"Something small and cute," Howard said without looking back at her. All of them watched as child Italy was taken to Rome's _"house" _and almost all of them were dismayed as little Italy when she – no, he – found out that her older brothers turned out to be jerks!

"I kind of feel bad for Italy right now," Penny said with a sad smile as the ending theme song played.

"Believe me, I've been through worse," Bernadette whispered.

"The theme song is annoying!" Sheldon shouted with a huff.

"I like it," Leonard said in a hurt tone. "Can't we watch one more?" he half pleaded to Howard.

"Sure," Howard said with a smile. "And Sheldon, you'll be singing the theme song in the shower when the first season is over."

And so began the journey into the world of _Hetalia_.


	2. Beautiful World

_ Beautiful World_

"I'm a tomato fairy!" Penny said with laughter. "Oh my god, who would really believe that?" Leonard looked at her in concern. He had never seen her laugh so much unless she was incredibly drunk. _Please make it so she doesn't lose it, _he pleaded as she continued to laugh as Germany opened up the box.

_"Ahh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm not a tomato box fairy! Seriously, please don't shoot me! I'll do anything, so don't shot! I'll do anything! I'll do anything!" _

Even Sheldon was cracking a smile after Germany met Italy for the first time.

"And I thought Italy would be a crowning achievement of science complete with Leonardo da Vinci," he said with a small smile.

"I can't believe you're not laughing, Sheldon!" Penny couldn't get the words out she was laughing so hard. "My stomach hurts so much, and it's only the second episode!"

"Poor Italy is crying so much I don't even know how he can still see!" Leonard said with a wide smile as he watched as Germany pick Italy up by the collar. All of them – including Sheldon, just a little – roared at the stupidity of Germany as he tried to make Italy escape from prison.

"It's not gonna work, Germs!" Penny yelled at the desperate nation.

"His name is actually _Doitsu_!" Amy yelled.

Raj was clutching his stomach and rolling on the floor at the end of the episode. "Even…I…would try to flee!" Suddenly Raj stopped laughing and rolling and the gang looked at him with concern. "I want to see England again."

Raj saw England again, and plenty of the other nations. It all seemed so soon that the first season was over. The reluctant neighbors of the apartment were wondering if something was wrong up there because of all the laughter. _Something definitely cracked in those people_, they thought. Meanwhile, after watching the first season, Amy and Bernadette were discussing the series.

"Every historical part in the show is for the most part accurate," Amy said in a smile. "My favorite character is Italy actually. He's so gullible and cute whenever he talks about things he likes…including Germany."

"Do you think they'll actually get together?" Bernadette said with a gasp. "I hope so. My favorite turned out to be Japan. He's so polite and kind…and gullible too in his own way."

"Come on, ladies!" Raj put his arms around them. "You picked those two over England?" They looked at him with confusion. "I mean, sure, he took over my country for hundreds of years, but that's not the point!"

"And what is the point?" Bernadette said nervously. He was starting to creep her out again

"You can't deny England's sexy. And his voice…his voice makes me feel that I could melt! In a good way though," he added hurriedly.

"Maybe you should get one of those dolls the Japanese have, Rajesh," Amy said with a small smile.

"I would yell at you if you were Howard, but I'll make an expectation." Raj looked at Amy with a grave expression. "They're actually called something else," he whispered into Amy's ear. He whispered the name into Amy's ear. "They were too expensive before, but now I think I'll get one. One of England!" Raj smiled and almost jumped up and down like a child. Sheldon and Leonard were looking at Raj in concern – or in Sheldon's case, boredom. As they thanked Howard for bringing the anime series in, none of them noticed Raj slipping out of the apartment. After Raj ordered his – _ahem_ – England doll, he started to wonder who voiced the sexy England. He typed the question into his computer, and saw the name Noriaki Sugiyama. However, knowing the name wasn't enough for Raj. He wanted to see the _seiyuu_'s – voice actor's – face. "Oh my," Raj said as he covered his mouth as he stared at the picture. "England's hot in real life too!" As he scrolled down the _seiyuu_'s article online, he saw that Nori-_chan _had more roles than England. "Sasuke Uchiha…Uryu Ishida…" _Hmm…should I watch more anime? _

The next two weeks, no one saw Raj. He appeared to have disappeared from the face of the earth. It was quite ironic, for Raj was in his apartment watching anime at all hours. He finished the first half of _Naruto _in a couple of days. He watched _Naruto Shippuden _up to the latest episode. Then he watched _Bleach_. "Wow…" he breathed after the last episode. It hurt to close his eyes, but he was so tired. "How could have not known that this beautiful world existed?" Soon he fell asleep in his chair, dreaming of Sasuke and Uryu…and of Nori-_chan_. Soon Raj found himself in a predicament. He wanted to read the manga so bad, but they were so expensive! There were 65 volumes of _Naruto _and 60 volumes of _Bleach_! How could he afford that money? Then a thought came to him. _I could sell all my comic books and other stuff. _If someone had known Raj two weeks ago, they would have been flabbergasted and stunned by what he had said. But Raj…well, he was an otaku now

The mangas – all 125 of them – arrived less than a week after Raj said a tearless goodbye to his childhood and former adulthood. He read _Naruto _first, then pre-ordered volume 66 on Amazon. Then he read _Bleach_, and pre-ordered volume 61 as well. He watched the second, third, fourth, and fifth season of _Hetalia_, and then subsequently ordered the entire series online...along with the other uncut _Naruto _and _Naruto Shippuden _and _Bleach _DVDs that he ordered online. Raj was a happy man.

When his friends saw him, they could not recognize him. Instead of wearing a sweater that Raj normally wore, he was wearing a t-shirt with the character for _shinobi _on it. There was something odd about him too. He seemed…changed. His hair had changed as well. Not one curl remained on his head. "Raj?" Howard asked nervously.

Raj looked at him as if he could see everything in his soul. _"Ore wa Raj de wa nai. Ore wa…Uchiha Akihiko da!"_ The group looked at him as if he had three heads. Howard tried to speak, but before that, Raj said in a serious tone, "My new name is Akihiko Uchiha, the son of Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura." Then he broke into a smile. "I love manga and anime now, guys! Isn't that great!" He was met with blank stares. This man might have embodied Raj's body, but he was not Raj.

"I think you need to go to the hospital, sweetie," Penny said looking at him with pity.

Howard looked at his best friend with shock. He had _never _suspected that showing the guys _Hetalia: Axis Powers _would result in _this_. "Lord, what have I done?" He put his face in his hands. "I turned my friend into an anime monster!"

"_Ore wa bakemono de wa –"_

"Yes, we get it!" Bernadette screeched. "We know that you're unhealthily addicted to this stupid cartoon! Now turn back into Raj!" When Raj – or rather Uchiha Akihiko – didn't respond, she kept on saying those same words until the said man spoke.

"You will always be in my heart no matter what path we take. Even though you refuse to accept who I am, remember that I will always be with you even in death. _Sayonora_," he whispered. Then, bowing, he exited through the door.

"I can't believe it," Howard whispered half to himself. "I can't believe it. How…could this have happened? I didn't mean for him to get obsessed with anime!"

"It's okay, Howard," Sheldon said with fake sympathy. "He chose the dark side." There was a pause. "Besides, it's not as if he's the only one."

Later that night, Leonard was trying to sleep when he heard a noise. Or rather, a voice. _"Draw a circle, that's the earth. Draw a circle that's the earth. I am Hetalia! Ah, with a single paintbrush the entire world can be seen. Let's have a toast with our boots! Hetalia!" _Leonard smiled, realizing who was singing. _I won't tell anyone, _he promised to the unaware Sheldon. He smiled as he dreamed of a boy named Italy.

* * *

Translation

_Ore wa Raj de wa nai. _I am not Raj.

_Ore wa...Uchiha Akihiko da! _I am..Akihiko Uchiha!

_Ore wa bakemono de was nai. _I am not a monster


End file.
